HOW THE NBA PLAYOFFS REPRESENT THE REST OF SOCIETY Evan Altemus First and foremost, this article should be read for entertainment purposes and shouldn’t be used to determine which teams to make for your 10 billion star, game of the year bets. As I pondered which teams will cover the spread, I started to notice that several of these teams resemble people in society. Let’s take a look at which teams represent people that you and me run into every day. LOS ANGELES LAKERS – The Lakers can blowout any team in the Western Conference when they bring a focused effort. The average Joe Schmo bettor loves to load up on Kobe Bryant and his gang, especially when they are big favorites. However, the Lakers sometimes just don’t feel like playing. I don’t blame them either, as they are probably thinking about which model or actress they are going to try and hook up with after the game. I compare Los Angeles to that under achieving genius we all went to high school with. When they try, no one is smarter/better, but they’ll give you the occasional failed test/point spread blowout loss. The key is to isolate a spot that this team will be very motivated and ace the hardest test of the year. ORLANDO MAGIC – Orlando is one of the most frustrating teams for their fans, as they simply cannot play up to their ability. They are a head case just like the talented co-worker who the boss keeps around because of their “potential”. This person will ace the hardest project/presentation but follow it up with completely bombing an easy assignment and repeatedly showing up late for work. Meanwhile, the Magic show flashes of brilliance, but they ruin those moments with late game collapses and blowout losses. If these types of people and Orlando can just bring a consistent effort and eliminate the bone head mistakes, then they would be an outstanding employee/dominant team. HOUSTON ROCKETS – The Rockets are the perfect example of that average person we all went to high school with who ends up with some high paying executive position. This person isn’t the smartest, talented, or best looking, but they always make the right decisions and work hard. Consequently, they vastly overachieve because of their grinding nature. Most people expected the Rockets to lose in the 1st round, but they just keep grinding despite several injuries. As a result, they had a 2-2 tie in their series against the vastly superior Lakers, when most people expected them to be swept. The Rockets are going to lose in the 2nd round though; just like that average can only go so far grinding things out. Eventually a lack of superstars/talent/intelligence takes its toll against vastly better teams/people. DENVER NUGGETS – Denver is playing the best basketball of almost any team in the playoffs. They are high scoring and fun to watch! However, it just seems like something is missing, especially since they haven’t played one of the top teams yet in the playoffs. I compare this team to that super hot girl friend, which every guy thinks they want. I mean who wouldn’t want a smoking hot 5’6’’ blonde with the perfect body? This girl is fun for the first few weeks, but then reality starts to set in. You begin to realize that she has no intelligence, always wants expensive dinners/gifts, and every guy, including your friends, tries to hook up with her. Just like the hot blonde, the Nuggets flaws, such as head case players and inconsistent defense, will begin to show up eventually and will be their weaknesses. BOSTON CELTICS – Most people know of an employee at their workplace that used to be the highest performer but has slowed down because of their age. However, every time layoffs or firings come, this wily older employee always finds a way to keep their job and make their numbers. The Celtics very easily could have lost in the 1st round to Chicago, and Orlando should have knocked them out 4-1 in the 2nd round. However, this team always finds a way to win games that they shouldn’t. Their style of play isn’t flashy and you wonder how they keep sticking around. They find a way to get the job done and move on, just like that older, wily employee.
 

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